Assholeness can sometimes depend on the natural clashing chemistry of two people. I remember when I was young and dating, I would have occasion to go on a blind date and realize that there was something about this girl that was going to corner me in an asshole role no matter what I said or did. And of course there were girls and times where I just knew right away the opposite would be the case — everything would flow smoothly no matter what I said or did within reason.