Hey White Supremacists I Feel Your Pain

It’s not your fault. A long time ago, way back even before your grandparents day, a bunch of what some call your founding fathers started fooling around with nature’s way, concocting crazy theories about all men being created equal in the sight of God, or some such nonsense.

Well, as you can image things eventually got way out of hand, unleashing a bloodbath of a civil war. You see there was this there backwoods bumpkin named Abraham Lincoln who became president of these here United States of Americans who sort of supported certain radicals of the founding fathers. You know the ones who wrote that there Declaration of Independence thing, spouting off about how’s all men were created equal, like I was telling you — even it was claimed that the Blacks that had been put to work on the man’s cotton picking farms down South were equal to you White fellows. Really!

Of course these gentleman famers didn’t take kindly to some fool way up there in Washington town putting such strange notions in the heads of their work force, so they decided to form their own nation. Then old Abe called them traitors, and that stated the fighten.

But of course the Southern farmers didn’t stand a chance against the guys that were a backing Mr. Lincoln’s side, these big city Yankees with their gun making plants — and who outnumbered them a million to one. So the famers lost the war and their Negro work force to boot, bringing great poverty and ruin to the American South.

And that’s how this unnatural multicultural society thing that we are a coming to got its start. Sure, some white-sheeted societies made another valiant effort to fix things, but once again the nutty mixer-uppers of things prevailed. And now all your poor White supremacists saps got left “to put America right again” is a failed business dope, the lying moron, President Donald J. Trump.

So here is my advice to you, since the Donald is going to sell you out in the end anyway. Study the White folks who think a multicultural society is just dandy. See how it is that these tribal cousins have risen above their primitive tribal impulses. I know this is going to be painfully difficult for you rubes, but you already lost the Civil War, the White Sheets war and your never-loving hate campaign is already beginning to come apart at the seems. I mean, what have you got to lose? A peaceful, prosperous nation of many kinds of people really ain’t going to be all that bad. Give it a try. You might just learn to love it.

Jim Ridgway, Jr. military writer — author of the American Civil War classic, “Apprentice Killers: The War of Lincoln and Davis.” Christmas gift, yes!

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