Look, ladies, we men invented all sort of nutty religions that said you were our HELP mates just so you wouldn’t try to strike out on your own. So of course we cripple your careers whenever possible. Societies that keep women pinned to the back room of the home tending babies is our ideal.

Please don’t tell my wife I said this. She acts like my boss and can be very mean to me at such talk. Just can’t get her to move to Afghanistan where I would have a chance.