Question W. Barr: Did You Sleep Through All Your American History Classes?

Apparently you never learned the point of the American Revolution. So, Billy Boy (and you are a boy in the most demeaning sense of the word) let me fill in your pothole of learning.

You see kiddo, G Washington and his merry band of patriots formed this little militia to drive out the kings Army, because Thomas Paine and a bunch of other high-minded radicals friends of his didn’t want to be ruled by some punk king who thought he was a divinely ordained creature that floated above the law.

So after a little help by some French guys and their mega fleet, rounded up by good old Ben Franklin, Washington and Friends kicked the British’s butt at the Battle of Yorktown.

Following that victorious rumble, inducing all the kings men to hang it up and go home, the colonial hot shots called for a big get-together in Philly town. There, they worked hard to design a government of checks and balance to ensure that there would be no king/dictator cat who thought he was above the law.

Again, sir, how did you miss that all those American basics? Indeed, what kind of rinky-dink law school did you attend buddy? Did it not teach you that the backbone of American system of governance was the rule of law, and that no one, especially the president, was above the laws of our democratic republic?

Maybe you picked up some royalist fetish over the course of your life, and so you just couldn’t miss an opportunity to team up with king Trump? I mean of all the humans on the planet to team up with, why the nation’s first moron president? Were you hoping to grab your only chance at directing the nation business from behind baby Trump’s bib? Is that it?

They say you are a smart guy. So how’s come you never picked up on the neon light clear fact that the Donald destroys all who come within his orbit? Are you really such an egotist to think that you, alone among all those countless others, would be the exception? That you would escape slim free? Really? You have met the Devil, and have sold your soul to the evil one.

As such, it would appear that your former law buddies aren’t real happy with you shenanigans. But all is not lost for you pal. There will always be a few Republican cruds in Congress willing to say hi to you in a pinch.

You may not have read or understood much about the heart of American history, but let’s just say that going forward with your life, rhetorically speaking, you are history

Jim Ridgway, Jr. military writer — author of the American Civil War classic, “Apprentice Killers: The War of Lincoln and Davis.” Christmas gift, yes!

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