There are basically too kinds of rape. (Personally I don’t understand this rape culture jargon.) The first kind is what I see as real rape. Some guy goes out with a knife or gun intending to brutally attack a women sexually. These are usually guys desperate to exercise power. They either lack the opportunity or ability to exercise power in other positive ways, so they basically attack women for the feeling of power it gives rather than for any sexual satisfaction.

The second kind is a very murky sort of rape depending on how the women feels about a guy. Just think about some of those old classic Hollywood movies where at first the girl fights off our hero’s advances only to in the end swoon in his arms as he “manly” forces her to submit. The message to men of course being that women sometime want to be forcibly subdued by “real men.”

Now if the woman deep down actually has a thing for the guy who “tamed” her, no problem. On the other hand if she has no romantic impulses toward the guy then she sees him as a creep who raped her. This sort of rape is mostly in the eye of the beholder. The poor guy thinks the girl simply wanted him to take charge. The girl in the latter case is just thinking no means no.

So I suppose the only answer to the more common form of “date rape” is to orally inform a guy well ahead of time that any sexual advances will be reported as a sexual assault, otherwise no could mean maybe.

Jim Ridgway, Jr. military writer — author of the American Civil War classic, “Apprentice Killers: The War of Lincoln and Davis.” Christmas gift, yes!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store